A response to ponder...

I posted my story on one of the emergency boards where veterinarians talk about and ask questions of their difficult cases. A place to bounce things around. A good place for input. I met a very nice emergency doctor when he was visiting here at Purdue one week. It just so happens that he is one of the moderators on the Emergency Board. I received many responses, but his....something about his response....I keep reading and re-reading:

Oh, boy. This made me so sad, because it reminded me of the part of myself that used to care so much. Sad to say, but that part is now dead. Well, not dead, but it certainly isn't eating well and was coughing up blood last night.
I think we all start out like this - caring so much it haunts us. In order to survive and help more patients and do the greater good, that part has to be numbed a bit (at least in my case) or you can't function. You will find ways through this scenario as you relive it. I hope the number of times you have to do it is small, but you will have to do it. I would hope that it would hurt a little less every time you do it, for your sake, but that you also retain the part that hurts as well - both for your sake and for the patients. It is easy to become numb to the degree of apathy and cruelty, the careless way people treat their pets. Everybody gets all hopped up about cruelty, because it shocks and makes good copy, but the greater and more prevalent evil is is just dumb-ass garden variety neglect. It is admirable that this affected you so deeply and helps give me faith in our profession. You will need to lose just enough caring to function, but keep enough to be a good and caring doctor. The key is where you put the line.